Friday, January 11, 2013

held in your hands + some honesty

held in your hands

i feel like this is my phrase for the year. (that and koo-koo. haha)

again and again, God blatantly reminds me, "hey you, you are mine."   it is hard for me to grasp the enormity of God, but it is also hard to remind myself that he intimately knows me and cares for me. usually i don't know what purpose God is leading me on the path that he is, though, i can rest assured that he's going to get the most glory, and i will get the most good and sanctification. (romans 8:28) lately i've been feeling like a wanderer in a distant land, completely lead by faith following a cloud by day and fire by night, just like the israelites. my future isn't unfolding for the typical person right out of college.though, if there was anything typical to my life i'd be slightly concerned. i'd rather be weird and in God's will than attempting to live a "normal" life straying far from what He has for me. 

i took two classes last semester at my community college. one of which was a spanish class that didn't end up panning out, unfortunately. so, this semester i'm just working and trying to put some money away in savings. i'm really excited to be where i am. i'm so at peace. i'm expectant but not expecting anything of God. (if that makes sense?not expecting/demanding something particular, just anticipating) right now, i'm beginning the process of applying to be an intern with 6:8 Ministries.   i'm so thrilled to see if full time global missions is where God would have me serve Him. I'm really open to being wherever, but it is a desire of my heart to somehow continue being involved in missions, forever. God took a hold of my life the summer i was in africa. my relationship with him just took off. and i've never been more passionate or alive for Him in my life. 

okay, this is where it gets real, guys.


life has been nuts. koo-koo, i tell you! if you were to walk into my room now, you'd see that i'm still living out of a suitcase and a backpack. from a trip in december. ah! real life guys, this is real life. clothes are exploding out of both bags. my bed hasn't been made in easily a week and a half. there are books, telephones, toms and more scattered all over the place. now, for being an organized person, this is annoying. but because i've been working 30-32 hours every week. i come home exhausted and usually flop right into my bed. it's a vicious cycle. do you ever just hate stuff? i hate stuff. crap. yuck. blah. it just gets in the way. but seriously, its a problem.

hopefully this weekend will be extremely productive!

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