Saturday, July 14, 2012

Not why, but what

During the week of Passion 2012, I came to God with expectations. Note: Don't do that. (haha) Don't try to comprehend God. One, it won't work, and two, "trying" to expect what God will do will just steal the joy that comes from your vulnerability and brokenness towards your maker. He works in you when you are at your lowest low because you realize that is then, when you are stripped of everything else distracting, that you need him.

After a wonderful time learning more about God, I came home feeling really bummed out about my knee.  It was hard for me to be dependent on people. I wanted to get up and go help, yet I physically wasn't able to complete all my regular responsibilities.  I was quickly slipping into a hole of discouragement.  Through that experience, though, I felt convicted about how was spending my time. Most of my time was being spent with people outside of my family. I began to realize how little time I actually had left living at home, in comparison with the rest of my life. There were times of tears when I couldn't push myself to reach a physical therapy goal, but all the while, God kept reminding me not to ask Him, "Why me? Why would you make me go through something like this?"  but rather, "What, God, do you want to teach me?" The latter question turned my focus from myself and my pride and refocused my attitude towards Him.

1 comment:

  1. An awesome thought for me to chew over... (: