Friday, June 24, 2011


It's weird how hard circumstances seem distant when they aren't happening to you or someone you know. Death and Divorce/Separation, on my end of things are very heartbreaking, burdensome,(burdensome and heartbreaking kind of mesh together here. burdensome in that I'm often thinking of certain situations etc) and confusing. Especially when I sit off in the distance merely observing the grief. And there is nothing humanly possible for me to do to help solve the problem, or ease the pain.

I know that God is sovereign, but it's mind boggling to me, to think that I can't help in some way or meet some need. I want to help those in the midst of trial, my heart aches for them. I awake with constant headaches, from banging my head against the wall in prayer. It appears that all I can do is pray. Yes, I believe in prayer, and oh, do I pray my heart out.

"Lord," I cry, "isn't there *anything* I can do?"

"Of course you can Lacey. You are only praying but not letting me handle it." ^--[profound right?]

Maybe there is not an opportunity to help--at this time.
Maybe I have to let go of wanting control.
Even though I have convinced myself of my good intentions.

I must say, it is hard to watch volcanoes erupting, watching the lava destroy, and only holding out a cup of water in response to the catastrophe.

Lord teach me to *trust* you. Help me to realize that though, being small in appearance, prayers do help. Glorify yourself through me.

Psalm 130

1Out of  the depths I cry to you, O LORD!
 2O Lord, hear my voice!
 Let your ears be attentive
   to the voice of my pleas for mercy!

 3If you, O LORD, should mark iniquities,
   O Lord, who could stand?
4But with you there is forgiveness,
    that you may be feared.

 5I wait for the LORD, my soul waits,
   and in his word I hope;
6my soul waits for the Lord
   more than watchmen for the morning,
   more than watchmen for the morning.

 7O Israel, hope in the LORD!
   For with the LORD there is steadfast love,
   and with him is plentiful redemption.
8And he will redeem Israel
   from all his iniquities.

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